We're like a lot better than the average bears
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
