Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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