I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
smell my finger.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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