I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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