The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
