I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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