dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
