pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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