Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize