yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
