just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
