i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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