I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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