If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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