worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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