Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
