you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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