Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
