I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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