Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
