Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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