What a fucking waste of an outfit
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
