Sponge bath it is.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
