So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I am one with the molecules
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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