her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hope mine doesn't look like that
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
