mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
