is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
be right there i have to get my cape
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
