Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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