Fuck appropriateness.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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