There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
