yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
