Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
