he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
