pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
