I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
