i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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