You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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