Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
