Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
