Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
