im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
