you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
