that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Randomize