The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize