She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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