Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
