Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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