Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
These 25 Soulless Industries Have Been Scamming Us For Years
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass