the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.