Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize