Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
