So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize