You smell like a Billy Joel song
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
