We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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