ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
