We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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