ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
