so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
