i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
