I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
