Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
A+ Viking dick
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
