please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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