Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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