I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
