Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
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I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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