is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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