How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
