i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
