I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How's work?
Spinning.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
