if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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