brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
