So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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